left boundry
blue taper

    Philosophic reconsideration's and development in the progress of self improvement.

        We live, we change, we change over time.. a form of personal change for everyone is always possible.
    That is what people do, mostly without a deliberate agenda. That is, mostly, for many, just what life does to them..
    Not to be cynical but Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans, if you are not actively working to directing your life . This the reality of being alive - the world is as it is.
         Is this the final say of being who you are - No.
    Being aware though is what your mind is... Existence is the unpredictable nature of reality externally, where the game of foreseeability is as well, your personal challenge as possibilties of life's existence within, thus your existence can be somewhat what you make of it.

        Your actions do make a difference to yourself in all ways and to the world in unknowable ways long term.
    Your immediate actions make immediate change as those actions affect the world about your presence - you are real.    
    Your footsteps displace the sand on the beach... to what effect is the question at large - judgement is relitive to others, who understands or notices.
Change happens, as life happens to be existence within yourself absolutely... and to the real world as the external continuum, is the reality as well.  

  However... What if one works at change with a different goal in mind. It can be thought of as just learning, then living in a better way, of being more aware.
Which in turn makes one into a different person.  I wish to compound that internally.  Not forcing so much but as just directed change..  change for the better - growth towards a goal.

Whether or not it is a positive change - yes, that is subjective - but the complexity is in the analysis of a judgement in yourself that can be understood...
...If your choices are based in the actuality of our collective past as understood and a predictive approach is within yourself to make.

    Change can be found, sometimes just as a thought.  It has been said that there is nothing new under the sun... this is incorrect - if willing to see.
Is there a lot of evidence to back that up... both ways (if blind to change, one way... and if aware to note as well - The exceptions... for a observation that all of life is not static, it is always changing, whether biologic or as human thought... collectively seen as the world as it is, always is change.

a line here denoting page change.

  Like Marcus Aurelius, I feel as though I want to thank those who helped me, to be me. Their support is found not by force, to make me change... However, If I watch and listening to how they feel about existence, what they believe... and why. People teach by doing. It is up to you to see it. 
I speak below of a concept of some effort of emotional stress which generated much change... In the case of an idea I refer to as #9 within a list of concepts of being.
I pushed hard to see what I was made of...
... In this world of distrust or even hate and all to much human cruelty towards others... I was rather disgusted with it.
I do not walk that path of propagating hatred or mistrust - I want inside of myself, something better to live within, and projected outwards to the world as who I am.

I want an Open Heart... (Several definitions apply - truthful and on the sleeve, and accepting of others, different to myself, and so I pushed very hard within, to essentially become someone I would not be ashamed to see in the mirror.)  Just being open though, is in the reality of the world as it is, not collectively in the whole in existence... wise.

Being an Open Heart - on a web page (A private domain on the web) and not social media is one way of modulating who knows I am even alive - is one way of modulating the risk.
knowledge of the page is one filter... And what is the risk I speak of - Of being a human being with a self directed path of thought and of being... independent of the world - Of being different.

Speaking of love - not hatred - is a risk unto itself... fact is, sadly, fear of anything not politically identifiable as one side of something defined in the media of popularity (the mob) is a risk in the world today 2019.
I am unashamed to say I have an Open Heart, is as it is... and... as well it is necessary to hold a spear towards the world in order to speak my truth. It is a good truth Open your Eyes and see it.

  special note line
... {Big Note: I am an American and "The Bill of Rights" is the law above the Laws - I have a God Given Right to say as my heart believes. And it will stand the test of time.
Why even mention this... because this is the world as it is. liberty is not free - freedom to be, is not free - it is a struggle in a world being under actual attack today, here , now. }
  special divider line

So as I dedicate this page to some wonderful people... up front I would like to state that if I am a decent person in my heart...
A lot of that is because I am surrounded by decent people...  I want a better way of living... it costs nothing in ones pocketbook to be a better human.
But it can make ones heart beat more freely... just trying.  Will you not walk this road with me.. or chose a similar path as there is no one way only directions to walk a better road within oneself.

In this universe there really is only one of each of us... but each is tied to the whole as no one is an island.

new page line
Some Dedications
    Michael Crock wrote this page©2012~2016 ~ why no "Facebook, Twitter or some other social network floating in a cloud"?...  The commercial interests involved and government stake holders own all you produce, if you publish on those sites. And I have what it takes to make this page here. This is not a blog yet it is so similar, its conceptual evolution, philosophical in nature, I don't know how much is new but I wrote it. It will change over time as I change, my thinking changes.  Friends are always welcome to e-mail me, (or visit with me, sooner - is always welcomed) - having a different opinion than mine is also expected, I can use input.  It does affect how I see and grow and then I share here... none of us are clones, if we are human then be a human.

    In point of fact I run many ideas past these living people mentioned and get feed back as to whether the ideas are really valid in concept, if they wish to express their input, I listen. - not that they would necessarily agree with, or necessarily disagree with these ideas, as It is my personal growth... just that they are not so whacky... in the sum of all ideas applied by me to try and become a more balanced person.. these people are a diverse group - As a balance to what I am doing.. they may well see a different world than I - and I am running ideas of concepts by them specifically..  sometime collectively or sometimes as individuals...
 A cross check from very sane super intelligent people in my opinion.  These are friends, people I admire, respect and love.
    A good friend I knew died just a few years ago in his paradise of Hawaii... I did not know, until recently, he had died... I was looking for him.  Willy Tonquet 1954-2011, Hardly a perfect person, nobody is really....  His journey was short and intense. He once said I was like Siddhartha at the river... He was being kind and always challenging me to be more than I was, He was a lot smarter and philosophical than many gave him credit for... I will miss him.

    From the long past, she is in my heart forever - Regina L. Rogers  - She was my mentor, friend, instructor of life, and of some aspects of the female mind, in so many ways shaped my mind to look at life, not as what was, but what could be - a moment in time,  Life cut short 1968 from one of the most pointless of deaths - an automobile accident. My loss on the inside is immeasurable.

    To Judy S. Spencer -  Powerful in body and spirit. Beautiful, the same in her heart - For me to say she was an Angel, the understatement of the millennial times - taught me so much of the future... I could not go and she could not stay... but love can go on forever.  Judy's existence - a mystery - I want to believe she still lives... and is happy.  I miss you. 

    To Claudia Balassi - Gregariousness and generosity, always willing to give from the heart... Willing to risk her life of loving and helping others in the supreme effort to the end... life cut short 2012 from a handgun she was trying to take away from the one who shot her. Claudia was trying to prevent a mentally deficient person from hurting himself and likely others... Words exist, what I feel about it. They hurt emotionally and can not be expressed without the pain of loss being expressed, however, the truth is somewhat beyond the personal wish for a gentle world of our best dreams of what the human is. 

I would like to dedicate this page going forward now to the living:  These are the living - we stand with the actions and thoughts from those who went before... in the hopes of those who make our life be better in a near future of the present about to happen.
    To Jennifer Whitewolf Crock whose integrity and stability of purpose is rock solid. Spiritually and intellectually stable, Life companion and she tolerates me 24 / 7. I should add she tolerates a lot because I evolve and change (hopefully for the better) ...  We walk this road of trials together, combined and on our individual journeys, much shared. It is not expected that we be mirrors of each other, but one of the first steps towards mutual respect is the recognition that we as individuals are very different, Yet a shared experience.  Equal to each other as beings but very different.

    To Angela L. - Who helps me to see a path in which to grow towards, she gets me to reflect upon positive change, and helps generate introspection towards my goals of becoming better as a person. Smart, eloquent and linguistically challenging. She tests my will to be who I am. A very good friend for what I hope is a very long life. Angela's life is as a smile of great warmth for so many, a hope resides within. 

    To Robert W. - Who has a difference from which I test myself to understand different ways of being. Of the concept of what free-will is, and helps me to see viable but different paths - A very good old friend from long ago to the present and into a long future ahead.

    To Mike and Trudy T. - Who are an inspiration for overcoming the trials of a life with great tenacious stamina and the desire to be more than just those who survives, but thrives with applied faith and a great hope. The efforts of applied energy towards achievements, yet being kind to those around them, always offering a helping hand... very good friends now and in the future. 

o Kim C. -  Who is a great parent of smart, well educated people who grew up and are now well on their way in life... That is no small achievement. My smart sister... a very tough survivor of a difficult life. Giving welcomed advise of so many concepts of the practical application of time and effort towards achieving a good outcome for so many. It is a good thing in a tumultuous world. I listen and hear.
    To Renée O'C. - More than Just the inspiration she is in being herself. Highly inspirational and driven towards self improvement. Always with something new going on, life is not static but flows forward. Very professional, focused and her self driven goals to achieve more. A risk-taker for a better life of following her heart, She demands the challenge to do what was seen as impossible.  A focus of my admiration and to a healthy higher energy life. 
Renée is the arc of her own story of change for the better. In my heart, I see her as a friend on the path of the future yet to come. Hope is so fundamental to our existence. Her life is full of achievements of a dauntless spirit. She has a good heart of kindness within her desires to follow her expression of her art of acting, writing, directing and producing relevant works. And she follows her heart with the knowledge that her success in life came by her own efforts and the love of many standing with her.. 

divider line new page


    More very soon, this page is in heavy re-development.
      Personal Growth     index
~~ Note: the entire page is in re-generational editing now so is very incomplete.
       updated: Dec 29th - 2018
            Original document creation 2012...
                Perpetual Change deliberately engaged in the pursuit of becoming a better human being.
            Its just a journey of Personal Growth, as there never will be an arrival, just the journey itself...

            Nothing is forever with humans in life's paths of change.
Top border